Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to make it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right life choices. Sometimes (read: often times) I get consumed by these thoughts and want to sit around and do absolutely nothing. Ugh!

At this very point in my life, I just don't know anything. For the past year I've had to convince myself, with little avail, that it's okay to be unsure. I've had to explain to people what the f*ck it is I think I'm doing, why I'm doing it and where I think it will get me, all while feigning confidence.

I decided to take this risk, I know. It just sucks, but I really don’t know what I'd be doing otherwise.

They say not to plan for plan b. Last year, I did. I executed. And I failed. I didn’t even consider plan A, until B was proven to be a shitty idea to begin with. So now, I sit here, working everyday for plan A, not know anything. At all. I don't have any clue.

But I'm still working.
 
Hoping.
 
Praying.


Ramble Fin.

For The Record

I loved being a student at San Diego State. I loved my whole college experience.

People often ask me, "Don't you wish you could go back?" or "Don't you wish we could do it all over again?" or "Why didn't you stay?" or "Would you live in San Diego again?"

My answers? No, no, no and no.

Let me explain.

I went to San Diego with one singular purpose-- get my degree and move on. Yes, I could have stayed. But by the end of my first year, I was pretty sure that that would not be the case. The city was beautiful. Nice weather, beautiful beaches, decent people, but it wasn't for me to live in beyond my college years. I'm generally a forward thinker*, so for me to linger in the past with hypotheticals such as the above is just not an option; hence, my sharp and final, "No's" to those kind of questions.

There is so much I miss about San Diego/SDSU though..(in no particular order)

• The people I met. I met so many amazing people here. I know for sure that some of them will be in my life forever.

I should..

blog more often.





Hola to the 3 people that read this. LOL.

By Myself

Lately, I've been trying to make more conscious efforts to do things by myself. I've found that it is so easy to rely on being around the comfort of others. Now, I'm taking the time to learn how to rely on the comfort of myself.